Confusion and Confession
by Nadi Loli
Summary: Karkat wakes up to an awkward situation with Gamzee and from this point on how love can spring from heart ache and stupidity among best friends.
1. Chapter 1: Night events

Author Note: This is GamKar if you dont like then dont read, i made this entirely since i love this pairing i dont own Gamzee, Karkat or terezi they all belong to there creator the amazing Andrew Hussie.

* * *

><p>Comfortable in bed I lay here cuddling my love in our sleep joyously.<p>

Though they'll never know I would never say that to them.

…wait….WHAT THE FUCK.

Cuddling my love?

What fucking love?

And sleeping joyously I never sleep "joyously" I'm always stressing out about something like Terezi leaving me for that..Thing…. he doesn't even deserve a name but in all honestly she was the only thing I loved that and possibly I love Gamzee…friendly like but still love him…wait did I just reconcile the fact I love Gamzee?

Fuck I shouldn't be thinking about that right now I should be wondering who this person is holding me so close to them. Gripping me ever so tightly like if they're going to lose me. Who would worry about losing me…not like I matter anyways.

This is somewhat comfortable being held like this though I haven't felt like this before…feels safe being clutched by someone so strong by being held against this nice flat chest being engulfed by these…these..disgusting fumes of weed! OH GOG!

"FUCK GAMZEE! GET OFF ME!" I push him off of me as usual and in turn I fall backwards off the bed landing on empty faygo bottles tons of faygo bottles meaning I'm in Gamzee's house. How the fuck did I get in here let alone in his bed and and…..WHY THE FUCK AM I NAKED!

"wHAt iS WroNG KaRBrO?" Gamzee said finally waking up and peering over the bed with a slight look of concern which is out of character for his high self.

"WHY THE FUCK AM IN YOUR BED!"

"CaUSe Of MotHEr FucKinG MIraCLeS Bro" obviously he smiles that creepy ass smile of his and then falls back down on the bed.

What a typical response from him "THAT DOESN'T FUCKING ANSWE-" I stop mid-sentence with my now noticeable throbbing head. Am I having a hang over? Fuck! Why the fuck am having one in the first place….what happened last night… as I contemplate all of this I grab my boxers and slide them on.

"Aw WhY yOU PuTTinG tHEM BaCK oN? LaST NiTe WaAAaS fUuuUUuN" he gets up sluggishly and wobbles his way over to me. Something isn't right with him, As he gets nearer that blunt smoke smell im so used to him having is mingled with another distinct smell I recognize one that I'm wearing the smell of alcohol. Gog! He's high and drunk now! Damn I hope he's not even worse when there combined..

"Hey karkat.." woah where did this serious somewhat hoarse voice come from I've never heard Gamzee like this. I'm so side tracked from his voice I didn't even realize he's now on top of me pinning me up against the wall.

"GAMZEE GET THE FUCK OFF ME" I struggle to get him off me trying to resist him but it does nothing seeing how he's using all of his untapped strength against me now.

"Make me.." he smiles more fucking creepy like that send chills down my spine but not as much as he leans forward our faces practically centimeters away from touching. I can feel his breath against my face. The smell of slime pies, faygo, alcohol and whatever else he takes creates the most disgusting combination to inhale, adding on to how annoyingly hot it is.

"GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING LET ME GO!" its futile to struggle but maybe I can get him to listen to me. Hopefully fuck!

"no" this is scaring me I know he's got to be drunk or at least I hope he is if not I think im in some serious shit if he's sobering up right now. Gog look at last time when he went on a FUCKING killing spree. Damn at least that time I could stop him but now I don't know what to do he's not listening to me.

"GOG! IM YOUR BEST FRIEND LISTEN TO ME" please dear gog listen to me Gamzee or listen to the faint voice of reason in your head. His grip on me gets tighter my wrist are aching from how much pressure he's adding to them. My heart beat is going a mile a minute I can feel it throughout my whole body, he probably can feel it too. He laughs under his breath, why is he laughing, oh gog why is he laughing, is my fear and torture entertaining to him, what's next he's going to fucki-

"I am listening to you, but you're not listening to you. little MoTHEr FucKer" he's starting to sound like his usual self again maybe he still is somewhat high. Oh gog maybe miracles really do exist somewhere out there in the world but if they truly do I would appreciate if you fucking got Gamzee to stop this bull shit now!

"karkles ever think miracles happen for a reason?" why do I get the uncanny feeling he's reading my fucking mind now! Damn Gamzee please let me go for any other reason but that maybe you love me just a little bit in that thick pot infested head of yours.

"NO ACTUALLY I DON'T!" fuck I said that from anxiety building up I hope he doesn't do anything to stupid like mayb-

Before I can finish that thought his lips press against mines gently then pull away just as quickly as it happened. He let go of my wrist and turned around to his bed and puts on the usual spotted pants that was just lying on the ground. "you should start believing in them, HoNK…" he turned to look at me with this sad expression. A rare expression for him seeing how he's always smiling go lucky being high off his damn ass. All I could do though was stand there rubbing my wrist that still throbbed from pain.

"Then why is it so hard to love and be loved in return why won't miracles give me just that…?" My lips move subconsciously spewing out what my deep thoughts truly were the words came out so hushed I didn't realize I said it at first but then covered my lips right away from shock. I didn't say that. He didn't hear. Oh please tell me he didn't hear.

He did. From the expression on his face he surely did. His eyes widened and he smiles slightly towards my direction but mostly he was looking down still wondering maybe if I was going to yell at him for kissing me earlier.

"You know….maybe it's in your face the whole time and you just don't see it" Gamzee looked up slightly his sad expression now visibly depressed. And in all honesty I don't like seeing my friend's depressed like this, my heart cringes as his eyes go farther and farther into the depression that engulfed him that I walk over to him and hug him gently hoping he'd respond to it…but he doesn't which worries me ever so more.

"Gamzee, hey look I'm sorry but I'm just so confused and frustrated right now with everything that happened with terezi just that I can't take any more from people I'm sorry.." wait FUUUCK I said sorry…I never say sorry gog! I'm so out of character. Then again so is he but me saying sorry is the last line what is wrong with me! I've never talked to someone like this since well…tere- FUCK THIS SHIT I NEVER WANT TO THINK ABOUT HER AGAIN! THIS IS ALL HER FAULT TO BEGIN WITH ANYWAYS I KNOW IT IS!

"KaRBro, yOUr mY MoTHerFucKiNG BeSt FrIEnD~." he said smiling just a tiny bit and hugs me back finally gripping my sides making me slightly uncomfortable but then again I rather see this ass back to being smiley then the dark depression of murder hood. Well I did until he dragged me down onto his bed cuddling me. Which I tried to escape as much as I could but oh well I guess I'll just have to deal with it. After a while I could tell he fell asleep on me again and I tried to squirm my way out of but to no success failed. So I joined him not like I had anything better to do. Ironically though I liked cuddling here with him..made me feel safe….GOG! Who the fuck am I kidding….maybe I do like Gamzee a bit…..FUCK romcons and liquor are getting to me I'm just going to sleep this shit off…..damn but tomorrow I'm going to interrogate this fucker but for now…I guess I'll sleep too… "im happy to be your best friend Gamzee.."


	2. Chapter 2: Gamzee thoughts

Chapter 2: Gamzee's thoughts afterwards

I was laying on my mother fucking bed all happy and shit because underneath me was an adorable motherfucking best friend that I had in my grasp. I held him ever so tighter thanking those mother fucking miracles. He didn't push me away all to much with last night's shit and then he said hes sorry another fucking miracle bro. though these after affects are really starting to bug the fuck out of me makes me want to get up and take a fuckng asprin or some shit like that but I don't want leave then come back to see karkles gone and escaping from my clutches now that I finaly have him. I grip harder and hear a small grunt from him emiting from those soft lips that I finally tasted, candy sweet just like his blood. Then again if I told him that id probably be yelled at just like he yells at me for every other gog damn thing I do. But then again hes so cute when hes mad. But on another note thank you mother fucking miracles if I didn't watch all those Romcons with him in the past I would've never knew what to say at that moment and maybe he wouldn't have said all of those nice things to me. Mother fucker..i really like this little guy, hes so weak I want to protect him…..maybe I should say it to him next time he wakes up but for now..imma get my nap on and have mother fucking dreams bout miracles..yeah that sound nice bro…HoNk…


	3. Chapter 3: Last night

Author's note: Merry Christmas! Sorry sorry sorry this is way late but I've been so busy with exams and school I haven't had time to write also I forgot to mention that this is a continued story and sorry I'm not the best writer in the world I keep switching between third and first person forgive me, also Gamzee, Karkat, and the rest of the trolls are humans in world living life but I love some elements originally from the story that's why I couldn't help but keep the green slime so loved by Gamzee in this story and some other things like buckets being sexual.

* * *

><p>The peaceful serenity in Gamzee's arms where once again interrupted by the constant annoying ringing of a phone. It took me a while to realize that it was my phone ringing. Only reason I bothered to look at my phone was because Gamzee started to nudge me a bit unhappy with the song, then again who could not like the song Pain by Three Days Grace? Maybe I should change it to something like I'm Not A Vampire by Falling In Reverse but…..<p>

"GOG….Who the fuck is calling me…." I growled as I edged off the bed and carefully place a pillow besides Gamzee.

I searched for my phone which ended up being located by the door I turned around to see Gamzee franticly searching for me with his arms. He fell for my little trick and clenched my pillow replacement tightly. It was cute but…I think I would've died in that death grip. I opened the door slowly not to wake him when I saw the huge ass grin go from ear to ear. I looked down at my phone, by now it stopped ringing I turned the phone and checked the caller I.D. but it started to ring again

"oh dear gog, why him…"

I clicked talk on my phone and I put it to my ear slowly dreading what was about to come from the fucking annoying one.

"Hey KK!"

He said a little too happily. Wait what time is it… I stare at my phone and for a while it takes me to focus on the little number through the slight haze….. 20…its 6:20 wait…FUCK. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT SOLLUX! IT'S FUCKING 6 IN THE MOURNING! FUCKING 6! 6! WHO CALLS AT 6!" I screamed furiously at the phone…Then realized Gamzee might have woken up from the screaming fest.

"Chiill KK, ju2t wanted to check up on you becau2e of la2t niight" he said with that god fucking awful lisp of his. Last night? What exactly did happen _**last night**_?

"Al20 John wa2 worriied when you diidn't 2how up at home ye2terday, Diidn't Gz take you home?" He said calming down now.

"Yeah, his home FUCKASS" This me now that I don't even fucking know what happened."

"oh ii gue22 you were a liittle two drunk to 2afely leave alone, but you got to admit la2t night wa2 fun!" The more sollux talked the more certain images, glimpses popped into my mind, putting these small pieces together I could make up the little places and then it all made sense.

~Flash Back: "Last Night"~

Sollux dragged Karkat's limp dead like body out from the temporary house with John to a so called 'surprise'.

"Sollux where the FUCK are you taking me?" He complained as he was guided down the side walk running into nearly everything because they blind folded and tied his hand to lessen the struggle.

"ii 2aiid iit wa2 a 2uprii2e KK!"

"FUCK THAT I'M-" He began to yell until john interrupted.

"where here ~!" he said extremely cheerful, why are they so happy about? The blind fold came off and they were standing in a dark room. Not that he minded he liked the dark better then light just he was in a dark room alone with Sollux and john which wasn't the best thing for him at the moment. The sound of a light switch flipping on broke Karkat's train of thought. The Lights were dim, red tinted, Almost everyone he knew was there minus people he really couldn't fucking stand seeing right now like Terezi, but one person he truly wasn't happy with was there, That person who ruined his life. Dave Strider. He glanced around even more and noticed Gamzee wasn't there, but with that thought a slam behind him made him jump with the familiar voice going.

"WaS Up moTHeRfUCkeRs~" Gamzee yelled out for everyone to hear hugging Karkat tightly, and just as fast as it happened Gamzee was pushed off.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME GAMZEE!" He screamed, but Gamzee ignored it and continued his stupidity over with Tavros.

Sollux grabbed his attention smiling "Thii2 ii2 for you, 2o you can get over you know who and have fun fiinally fucka22!"

Out of nowhere Gamzee bursts out "YeAH MoThER FucKeR LEtS Get wAStEeEEeeeEEEeeEeEEd wItH FUcKInG MiRAcLEs brO!" and as always the faint reply from tavros always follows "uHH,,,, yEAH!"

After that there was a lot of beer and some smoking going on with stuff rolled up not really sure what it was they were smoking but knowing it's from Gamzee it was probably weed or some fucking green slime drug like that. I also recall them playing some of my favorite music really loudly, the girls would sometimes start singing along with me, I remember laughing with a few others over some stupid joke that didn't even make sense, and I think I remember seeing a few people kiss, I'm not sure though.

-Flash Back Ends-

"2o 2hiit face do you remember now? Or do I have to remind you wiith how iintense our kii22 was?"

I couldn't hear sarcasm in that line…FUCK don't tell me I was making out with people! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

"oh al20 Dave 2aid your kii22e2 wa2 not the be2t he'2 have, more like 2loppy makeout2"

that fuck ass captor was laughing on the other line as I had a mental breakdown…..me..kissing…Strider…FUCK NO,HELL FUCKING NO, I WONT BELIEVE THIS SHIT, FUCK, GOG, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!

"hey kk you 2hould come over 2omtiime and we can get our kii22iing on~" sollux made kissy sounds that disgusted me.

Creep. I was going to start cursing him out as always but that was taken away when someone crept up behind me, taking the phone saying

"FuCK Off….mOtheRFUcKeR"then the phone beeped. Gamzee then threw the phone into his pile of horns.

"What..WHAT THE FUCK GAMZEE!" the tall figure had circles under his eyes, which looked as if half asleep, slouched over on top of my shoulder's.

"Hey what-" "ShUT Up" Gamzee growled and picking Karkat up throwing him over his shoulder then throwing me down onto the sofa.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" "I sAiD Shut uP MoTheRFUcKER" he pinned my arm's down and slid his knee between my legs, oh gog this is not happening! Not now! Not with him! I closed my eyes trying to figure a way out of this scenario but then I was being crushed underneath him. I re-opened my eyes to see him sleeping again, Is that all he does sleep, get high, fuck with peoples head repeat? He curled around me like a little kid.

"gog you can be cute sometimes" I chuckled

"ReALY BrO?" I froze realizing he heard that.

"NO FUCKER" Gamzee whined and nuzzled my neck in protest, "YOUR SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT" I looked down at him petting his head, he had drifted back to sleep this little shit head, I tried pushing him off but he gripped onto my side. "fuck my life" I whispered. I gave up and just fell back asleep, what other options did I have at this point.

As I came back into consciousness though….. I smelt smoke….?


End file.
